Have You Fallen For The Happiness Trap?
Everyone wants to be happy right??
If you ask enough questions around peoples why, it always reverts back to the same answer
“ I just want to be happy”
Everyone will have different things that contribute to their happiness.
I know for me I am at my happiest when I’m sipping on my morning coffee, catching up with my friends, having my weekend brunches, sat in my garden reading a good book, walking my dog along the beach and so on.
But people seem to get hung up on if I don’t feel happy all the time then something must be wrong with me?
Nope you are human and we all experiences a range of emotions. If we have no lows there would be no highs. The real goal here is when we experience the downs how long we choose to stay there. Notice I say choose as its up to you to take responsibility for how you show up in the world everyday!
So how do you get out of a low? Here are 5 steps you can take today……
1. Accept you are human and you are going to have days when you don’t feel 100%
2. Sit with your emotions and don’t run from them. Tune in to your thoughts to identify what is happening in your mind (thoughts are language of the mind and emotions reactions to the thoughts that appear in your body i.e. sweaty palms, heart pulsating)
3. Now that you know what thoughts have caused you to feel this way you can pick holes in your thoughts and see them for what they are thoughts not facts!
4. To get out of your somber mood focus on what in your life you have to be grateful for. This could be your pet, your morning coffee, the train coming on time. You get the idea. It can be the most smallest of things but they all add up and help you begin to get out of your head and into the present.
5. If you want to go a step further you can write down your top 3 things that you have been grateful for that day. This can be tough at first but over time you will be surprised at how easy it is. I typically write down between 5-10 things daily now.
So ultimately chasing happiness can be counterproductive for your happiness!
Instead focus on gratitude and be mindful of staying in the present moment. If you’re in a meeting and your mind drifts to a beach somewhere or what you’re having for lunch, over time this can make you more fed up and dread the meetings. Instead try and be really engaged and practice really listening to what is being said. Wouldn’t it be great if everyone turned up with this attitude imagine what more could be achieved, how many more ideas would come up. You never know that meeting could even make your gratitude list.
So in summary with mental health issues on the rise, self-awareness and compassion have never been more important. Take control of your emotions, feed your mind with greatness and don’t beat yourself up if you’re not bouncing out of bed every morning full of zest for life.
Stay present, listen, except and focus on all the wonderful things you have in your life. The fact that you have woken up today and are breathing is enough to be thankful.
Life is short don’t waste it, and don’t chase happiness its not the answer.